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I's Married Now! Part 2

When did who we become attached to in life define us? When did we put a potential mate above loving God and ourselves? The fascination and obsession whenever marriage is mentioned is fascinating to me! in this second part of “I’s Married Now! “I would like to explore a little deeper on the reason why.


Yes, I am here for the second week on this same topic. Apparently it is of great importance in our society to be married. I am not knocking it because it is important to me as well, just more so on what it represents Spiritually. To have a partner in purpose.

 The questions and concern about the subject of marriage is the obsession regarding it. As I go through my timeline and check other social media sites, I notice that when the subject of marriage is brought about , women flock like cattle to these post’s and articles with long questions and comments just on the subject of marriage. To dig a little deeper, I see specifically Black women be petty toward one another on this issue (just check the comments post’s they are there).

Let me first get this thought out of the way before I proceed. It is NEVER okay to put your mouth on or speak on anyone’s marriage. Marriage is a God created covenant not a God inspired covenant and not up for criticism by anyone except for God! It deserves respect no matter what! no matter if we know a couple is not happy, they portray their marriage to be more than is, may or may not be on social media, or they may be going through financial issues while living beyond their means and etc. It is our job to pray for these couples, especially if Marriage is what you desire.  When you marry you still will not know who that person is in their entirety. That same person you marry at the altar WILL evolve as you will too. It becomes sticky because you may not evolve at the same time which requires constant adjustments and tons of communication. 

What becomes constant (should become constant) is the presence of God in the union, friendship and faith in one another, which is all the more important to keep our comments to ourselves. We don’t know what stage couples are in and to think that we are exempt from these issues when we as singles eventually do get married because we think we know from looking at someone else, have no idea.  Alright, now that I have stated that, let us move right along (lol)

To address the questions in the beginning of this blog, When did who we become attached to in life define us? When did we put a potential mate above loving God and ourselves?

I asked these questions because of us as women obsession with it. What are we hoping to get out of marriage? What are we hoping it will do for us once we say “I do”? What are we hoping will change in us? We strive for it with so much passion and vigor that we HAVE to know and believe we are getting something out of the deal.  I guarantee for half or more than half of us it is not to help meet the need of our mate and become their servant. That doesn’t sound very glamorous does it?  I think for some of us we WANT a help meet, but don’t want to BE the help meet.  When is the last time we have checked ourselves to make sure the need that needs to be met is something that only can be met by us and God?  I know I asked a ton of questions on this blog within this subject, but it is something that is important to ask of ourselves before making steps to this selfless, beautiful, sacrificial union.

 I wanted to be married so incredibly bad that I became a Jezebel. We all know who Jezebel is. She controls, manipulates, make things happen according to HER plans. I manipulated my way to the altar. Why? Because I needed it to fill a void that I didn’t address and allow God to address. I was obsessed with marriage and had a picturesque view on how it should be but all it did was hold a mirror up to my insecurities. I had no problem being a servant for my ex-husband but the motives behind marriage was just for MY benefit…I wanted to feel whole and I wanted him to do it not HIM (God) to do it.

Ladies, marriage is not just for your benefit and I fear the obsession and passion for it is because we feel it will make us whole. Marriage is the beginning to a lifelong rewarding work! It will in no shape or form be the last stop for you, because you have purpose!  Find you out first, seek God for what He wants and requires from you and then is where you will be trained for the ministry of being a wife.

God Bless!

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