Peace Through My Pain
Updated: Apr 19, 2021
Lord is this really happening? Is this real? It can't be? I believed he would be ok! I prayed for him to be ok!
Have you ever been there? In a place where the pain was too much to bear?
The death angel had come to collect my loved one. I got that late night phone call that everyone dreads to get. My nephew was fighting for his life in hospital on the way to surgery from a gunshot wound. I did the only thing I knew to do, which was to pray.
"Lord heal like you said you can heal. Lord cover him under your blood. Let your angels be around him". I was on my knees crying out to God! "Lord help!"
It felt like a knot was in my throat when the phone rang again, I answered and silence on the other end. I knew he was gone.
That night and the next day seemed unreal. I kept saying it wasn't real, it couldn't be real! I cried until my eyes were swollen. I was confused, heart broken and I felt like God owed me some answers, it was time for him to give me something!! I remember crying out, " Lord Jesus help me!!
This hurts!! You've got to do something and I mean quick!"
I was walking to the front door, to feed my birds that I often did in the mornings. I was thinking maybe just maybe this would bring my heart some relief.
With tears in my eyes I opened my front door and the birds were lined up on my fence; like they were waiting for me that morning. I began to throw out the bread and just as I looked up with my eyes still full of tears. I saw the most beautiful cardinal, it looked like he had just flown down from heaven. So beautiful, so bright and he landed on the fence with the other birds. At that moment a peace hit soul that I could not explain.
God had heard me!! After that day I did have moments where my eyes would still tear up but God again gave me comfort in those moments. I took that cardinal as a sign of faith.
Faith that God would hear me when I called on him. I may not have understood what happened, why my loved one had to go but God gave me comfort in it. Every time I see a cardinal go by it brings a smile to my face that my God still hears and answers prayers.