The Pain of Disappointment
There is pain in disappointment and definitely can be the root of our "people" issues.
Are we aware that we can afflict this pain on ourselves?
This right here is a huge a topic to touch on and cover. When you look at the definition of disappointment it means:
sadness or displeasure caused by the non fulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.
The question brought up at this point is what are our hopes and expectations for the people in our lives or even strangers? Yes, we can be disappointed in things that are not human but most of the time the lingering, deeply emotional pain comes from what we expect out of people.
To bring you all right into my testimony, one of the causes of my pain along with rejection and abandonment was disappointment. When you are in pain, you expect a doctor to heal you right? They are licensed to do so and they should have the skill set and knowledge. I believe this is how we apply expectations to people in our lives. Like a mom or dad for instance. Depending on what your understanding of what parenting is and what you expect your parents to do in your life, can set you up for a huge disappointment. What I do notice with this example is that your expectations are tested and evaluated when you are in need. You may need comfort, you may need love, affirmation, guidance and due to our expectations if these are not given, we get hurt.
We then never resolve it and the pain deepens, becoming a compass to how we view others that need to be close to us.
Now this is not only applicable for parents. This could be anyone that holds a title in your life. Like I said, your expectations come from your definition of that title.
Here is a perspective and exercise:
Are we able to look past the title and evaluate others on an individual basis based on how life has made them?
Its almost as if we have made the titles an idol and it backfires on us because we have put them above God. In fact, God is the one that will never disappoint us.
If we are disappointed in God, it is because we don't know who He truly is. Whatever we understood about Him was obviously wrong.
Looking closer in the definition of "disappointment" I see nothing that points out blame in others. It is not others responsibility to please us or live up to our expectations. God is the only one that we can put that responsibility on.
Psalm 118:8, KJV It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.
Isaiah 2:22, NIV Stop trusting in mere humans, who have but a breath in their nostrils. Why hold them in esteem?
Hebrews 13:5b, NLT For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”
Psalm 27:10, NLT Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.
Shame on us for holding people at a higher esteem then we do God! It is our failure of appointing God in our lives that breeds such great pain.
So what are the purposes of the people in our lives? The same purpose you have in others. To be the help and vessel of God. We all have our trials, we all have our issues and imperfections. It would be a crime to hold someone higher than what we are humanly able to do or give.
So I pray that after reading this blog we have learned the true meaning of disappointment and how to heal from it. We have to stop appointing people as God in our lives and then carry around a shield punishing others when they don't live up to where we put them.
It takes courage to allow people to help you in the extent of the role that God has given people to play your life. If you are not sure the reason of why a person is in your life first assess your hopes and expectations with God. Allow God to show you if your request are reasonable and ask Him where are they coming from? Are they coming from a place of existing pain and hurt and prior disappointments? Once you have assessed what you are needing and where it stems from God will then bring clarity so that you won't fall into the trap of putting "only God can do it" requests or expectations on people.