Yes, you may have gotten out of something alive, but have you healed from the trauma?
Trauma by definition is:
a: an injury (such as a wound) to living tissue caused by an extrinsic agent
b: a disordered psychic or behavioral state resulting from severe mental or emotional stress or physical injury
c: an emotional upset the personal trauma of an executive who is not living up to his own expectations.
Now that we have the definition out of the way, let us start digging! I think we often celebrate the fact that we left or got out of a situation alive and well, but what about the residue? This is something that we commonly don't speak on but is the main reason why psychiatric or counseling is needed. The power of being traumatized does something to our minds that alters the way we think and how we view reality.
If our vision becomes blurred of reality, how are we to determine if a certain path is the right way to go? The bruises and wounds causes us to take paths that we feel are protective and comfortable. Paths that don't involve consultation with God first.
For example, I have been through a divorce. At first it seemed as if it was a thing that happened and it was over after a stamp of approval from the judge, but my life choices after that proved that it caused far more damage than I imagined. It created triggers within me that had me jump and leap with fear whenever the wound was pressed. I couldn't let anyone get too close. It was too painful. To my knowledge, I had let someone get close to me and look how much it hurt! I will never let that happen again! I became too guarded. It was the emotional stress of a holy union that never was intended to be broken that altered my mental state. I went through depression where I could barely keep up with daily house choirs and everything seemed just so hard and required extra effort to do. The trauma. It was getting in the way of me starting over and starting on the road to purpose that God wanted me on.
Now everyone does experience trauma in different ways. If you were traumatized by the way that you grew up, it could cause you to go into overtime to make sure that you don't set foot back into your old surroundings. Causing the need to over-achieve and work yourself to the ground causing a mental strain.
The issue with trauma, as I touched on earlier, are the movements absent of God's leading and counsel. Wouldn't it be like a plan for the enemy to make sure that even though you made it out the divorce, made it out of that dangerous living situation, made it out of that toxic family life, made it out of that toxic friendship, all to just have you imprisoned in your mind? Jesus!
Those seeds of trauma implanted was set there to implode at any given moment even in the height of "success" if not dealt with.
There is nothing in this life that should cause you to run because it reminds you of what you have been through. If so, than that means it is time to heal. If you get in a new relationship and that person's perfume or cologne takes you into a flood of tears something is wrong! That is not normal! If a certain food item causes you to get depressed because it reminds you of an abuse, something is wrong!
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. - 2 Corinthians 5:17
God can't do a new thing in us if we are stuck in an old mindset, in that old hurt and pain.
So what is my advice?
You want to heal from the trauma so that your interactions and relationships that God wants to send to your life wont be effected. You want to heal so that you can handle constructive criticism. Heal from the trauma so you don't feel that you have to be armed and ready to go to war over every word that may hurt your feelings. Heal from the trauma so that you won't take it into your business and becoming disappointed over lack of support when the real reason is lack of emotional support from a traumatized place. Heal from the trauma so that you won't be "torn down" mentally by other people's view of you but can't and wont admit it.
Forgive yourself and forgive what God had to use to get you to Him. Can we look at it that way? All those spikey and bumpy roads led you to your Savior. We have to heal from the scrapes and bruises that we gained along the way so that when it comes again we can endure with a sober and healthy mind.